


True Love and other Oddities

by Magentas_Nightmare



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Danger, Dixon Brothers, F/M, Merle Dixon - Freeform, Merle Dixon Lives, Merle and Daryl - Freeform, Merle and OFC - Freeform, Redemption, Smut, True Love, Walkers, ZA Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23039659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magentas_Nightmare/pseuds/Magentas_Nightmare
Summary: This is a story of mistakes and second chances. I don't want to give too much away but it involves Merle and takes place in the ZA around the time of the quarry.
Relationships: Merle and OFC, daryl and carol
Comments: 54
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will only be posted on Fridays FYI. I want to try posting a story slower and take more time with each chapter for a change.   
> Thanks for reading! Teagan xoxo

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter One**

> “ _ **Hey.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Hey.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to get a cup of coffee.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I need to be up early for work.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Oh...that's OK. I was just really moved by your story tonight. I think you were really brave to talk about it so openly on your first night.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Yeah?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Yeah...well, goodnight. I hope I see you here again next week.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I could go for a quick cup of coffee, I guess.”**_
> 
> “ _ **No pressure.”**_
> 
> “ _ **No, it's OK.”**_

* * *

The quarry wasn't far outside of Atlanta and somehow it was still a safe location for the group of survivors Merle and Daryl were currently associated with. Merle and Daryl stayed along the perimeter of the group in tents, they kept to themselves because they were outsiders and everyone knew it.

Georgia heat was unforgiving and the days felt endless without the convenience of infinite clean tap water and air conditioning. Up until recently they were all cared for in the modern world and wanted for nothing. Now, they were struggling day to day to steer clear of walkers, eat, find water and keep sane. Nothing was easy, life had few pleasures and they had all lost something or someone in the fallout.

Merle and Daryl sat around the fire after the sun finally set in what was likely mid-June, but without smartphones, TV or radio it was hard to say for sure. The group was all discussing what to do about Andrea's sister Amy, the younger woman was suffering with what sounded like bronchitis or maybe even pneumonia, nobody was quite sure. She had a fever and a mean sounding cough for days, but now she wasn't able to get out of bed.

“Who do you want to take with you?” Shane asked.

“Nobody. I'm better on my own. It's so much easier, just in and out with nobody to trip me up," Glenn stated.

“You sure, man?”

“Yeah, every time I take people along it's just mayhem. I'm good.”

Merle was glad that Daryl wasn't throwing their names in the hat, he'd had enough of sticking his neck out for strangers already. All he wanted to do lately was hunt, hang out with Daryl, and try not to think of the past. He was still drinking a little, but getting his hands on booze was inconvenient and so it wasn't as much as he'd like. Merle didn't have as much to fight for as everyone else in the group, so the daily drama over keeping kids safe and healing sick people and family drama sailed over his head without stirring much of a give a shit from him. Merle was interested in keeping himself and Daryl safe and getting to the next day, his goals were simple and his connection to the group was tenuous at best. His days of connecting with anyone besides Daryl were likely over. After what Merle had been through in the last year before the fall, he knew that his involvement in humanity would be limited for the rest of his life.

After a lengthy and not very interesting discussion of the plans Glenn was making for Atlanta in the morning, Merle and Daryl walked back to their own area apart from the main group.

“Hope they can find some meds for Amy,” Daryl sighed, pulling a clean t-shirt from his bag and pulling it over his head.

“Yeah."

Merle didn't have anything against Andrea's sister but he also wasn't losing sleep over it.

“She's so young and that cough came outta nowhere,” Daryl continued.

“I'm keepin' my distance of her,” Merle noted. “She might be contagious.”

“Compassionate as always, Merle.”

“What could I do for her anyway? I ain't a nurse or a doctor. Me catching her sickness doesn't help her and only gets me sick too. It ain't nothing to do with not being compassionate.”

“Still kinda cold.”

“If I could make her better I would, but everyone around here needs to get their heads around what we can do and what we can't. Running off to Atlanta and potentially losing Glenn for a girl who's probably gonna die is just stupid math.”

“Jesus Christ, Merle. What's with you?”

“It's just not like the old world anymore. Priorities change, brother. Wasting manpower on a wild goose chase is gonna get everyone in this group dead.”

“I'll remember this if you ever get sick.”

“Hey, I don't want people dying for me. If I get sick, you just leave me to die if it comes to it.”

Daryl frowned and just shook his head.

“I'm not like you, Merle. I'd do something.”

“There's no boy scout badges out there, Daryl. We're all just out here dying alone, the sooner you realize that the better.”

“You ever gonna get over it, Merle?”

“Get over what?” he scoffed.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about.”

“I am over it, don't you hear me? I'm free of all the fuckin' misery now. I gave up before we even got here. I'm just riding this shit show out till one of those creeps takes a bite outta me as I'm taking a leak one night...speaking of which.”

Merle was tired of Daryl bringing up the past and wandered off into the trees to piss.

Merle lost the only thing he ever gave a shit about long before the walkers and he'd never have it back now. Nothing he did now mattered. Why couldn't Daryl understand that?

/

Glenn left at dawn and had to convince a few other members of the group once again that he was fine alone. He was faster alone and knew what the hell the plan was. The last thing Glenn needed was to be responsible for other people's lives. He knew what his abilities were, he knew have fast and agile he was; he couldn't say the same for any other member of the group. Not to mention that it was more fun alone. He could pretend that he was the lead character in a badass RPG.

He arrived when it was still dark and parked the truck he'd brought in a rail yard. He knew of a little pocket in a downtown neighbourhood that had 4 medi-clinics in close proximity. He'd have better luck being able to hit a few in quick succession and then get the hell out of Dodge. He only had a blade, but with his speed, he didn't need much else.

The first clinic was inaccessible even with speed, way too many walkers to avoid, so he moved his way down an alley to the next. There was a busted top floor window and he questioned whether or not to bother, maybe someone had already picked it clean. Still, there were zero walkers out front so it was a decent shot nonetheless. He took his time and approached from the back, breaking a basement window of the old brick building and squirming in through the small opening when he didn't hear or see anyone inside. He pulled out his flashlight and started looking for a med room or treatment area. The basement appeared to have a break room and a file area but nothing else so he proceeded up the stairs.

“Don't move one fuckin' muscle!”

Glenn's heart dropped at the sound of a female voice up the stairs that was not fucking around. He slowly raised his head to see a woman who blew his mind. She was in tight black leather pants and a black tank top with a leather vest. Both arms were tattooed, and she was wearing dark red lipstick. If she hadn't been holding a shotgun on him, he might have been aroused. Her long dark hair came to rest just below her breasts and he had a blink a few times to stop himself staring.

“I'm just looking for medicine. All I have is a knife,” he explained.

“Are you alone?” she demanded.

“Yes.”

“What meds do you need?”

“Antibiotics.”

“What's the infection?”

“Bronchitis, we think.”

The woman glared down at him as if she was deciding whether to help him or not, and he must have persuaded her with his helpless stare because she nodded and told him to follow her.

The woman led him to a med room and he waited outside so she wouldn't feel threatened with him standing right next to her in close quarters. He figured it was best not to crowd a woman with a shotgun.

“This is an adult, right?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Here.”

He was handed a bottle of Amoxicillin and thanked her profusely.”

“Is it someone in your family who's sick?” she asked.

“It's a member of our group, but she's only young like me. Are you alone?” he asked.

“Yes, been alone for ages now” she sighed.

“Did you want to come back with me?”

He wondered for a split second if he was asking her to come to the quarry because she was hot, but then he knew he would have asked anyone who needed help and felt better about himself.

“How many people are in your group? What are they like?” she asked.

“We have a pretty big group...maybe 20? I never counted. We're at a quarry outside the city. We have access to some water and a little camp. There's a former cop in our group, some women and a couple of kids, some guys who hunt. We are managing OK at the moment, except for Amy being sick.”

The woman looked around at her surroundings and then nodded her head.

“Thanks. I came here quite a while ago for medical attention but there was nobody here so I just managed on my own."

“But you're OK now?” he asked, not wanting to pry about what her problem had been. She looked just fine to him.

“Yeah, I'm OK. I go out and scavenge during the day and find what I can but it's not easy to manage all alone...sorry I pulled a gun on you.”

“Hey, it's OK. I don't blame you. What's your name?”

“Willow.”

“I'm Glenn,” he smiled shyly.

“It's nice to meet you, Glenn.”

She held out her hand to shake his and he almost blushed. She was like a really hot comic book character and he couldn't help being excited to sit in the truck with her all the way back to the quarry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Teagan xoxo

** **True Love & other Oddities** **

** **Chapter Two** **

> _**“Thanks for supper, I never had crunchy spaghetti before."** _
> 
> _**“Shut up!”** _
> 
> _**“I'm only teasin', honey. I appreciate the thought.”** _
> 
> _**“I really did try, but I don't cook very often.”** _
> 
> _**“Don't feel bad, the garlic toast was flawless.”** _
> 
> _**“Hard to screw that up.”** _
> 
> _**“Well...gimme a call tomorrow if you need a ride to the meeting again.”** _
> 
> _**“Will do...or you could stay, if you want to. It's kinda late.”** _
> 
> _**“Do you want me to?”** _
> 
> _**“Yeah, I really want you to.”** _
> 
> _**“Then I guess I'm staying.”** _

* * *

Glenn tried to look somehow bigger than he was, but he couldn't help feeling like a kid beside her. Willow was curvy, with long legs and leather boots...she was a stunner.

“Are you from Atlanta?” she asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“Yep. I worked at the oddity shop downtown before all this.”

“I went in there once...that place was freaky,” he chuckled.

“Very, but I loved it.”

“So there's a market for cat skeletons, weird taxidermy, and organs in jars?” he quipped, trying desperately to be smooth.

“Huge market! Some of those items in good condition went for thousands.”

“Really?”

“You'd be surprised. I sold a piece of Victorian hair jewellery to a collector for almost ten grand.”

“Hair jewellery?” he frowned in confusion.

“Back in Victorian times, people would take a lock of a loved one's hair and have it set into a pendant or some kind of artistic piece to always remember them.”

“That's kind of weird isn't it?”

“Most people were never photographed in those days. It was one of the only ways you could keep a part of someone you lost. I even had one made myself, there was a woman just outside Atlanta who made them.”

“Really?”

She pulled a locket from between her breasts and opened it to reveal a clipping of blonde hair arranged in a curl with tiny gold stars around it perfectly preserved in resin.

“Who's hair is that?” he asked.

“My husband's.”

“So he's dead?”

“I don't even know...we separated before this all happened. I had this made just after we got married.”

“Sorry.”

“It's OK. I know I'm not the only one who's lost someone they love.”

“I lost my family too,” he nodded.

“I never thought it would get this bad,” she noted, staring blankly out the windshield. “I thought I could hold on to one thing at least, but I lost everything to this bullshit.”

“It sucks,” Glenn answered, not really knowing what to say. “At least you won't be alone now. There's really good people in this group. It's safe.”

“Thanks again, I was starting to get really sick of that place, it's depressing there.”

/

Daryl and Merle spent the day in the woods hunting. People still needed to eat and the rest of the group was wringing their hands in panic over Amy. Merle found the whole thing to be a waste of time while work needed to be done. He and Daryl were still expected to keep the group fed, but they weren't even fully accepted into the group. Merle knew exactly what they were all thinking; they were black sheep and not to be trusted, more him than Daryl though. Gone were the days when Merle gave a shit what anyone thought of him, but being expected to feed the very people who thought he was white trash was a real kick to the teeth. He would have walked away ages ago, but Daryl wanted to stay. All he had left now was Daryl, so he was staying too.

Merle had the sinking suspicion that Daryl had eyes for Carol Peletier, even though she was married, but he didn't speak of it. He could understand his brother's desire to have a woman, but setting his sights on Carol, who's husband was an abusive piece of shit, was a really bad idea. Merle had a feeling he'd be helping Daryl kick his ass someday soon and he had zero problems with that. He had no desire to get involved with the group, but he'd always back his brother's play.

/

They made it back to the camp by late afternoon with a little mule deer across Merle's shoulders, a string of a dozen squirrels and 6 fish. Merle almost laughed at how screwed this group would be without them.

There was some kind of commotion going on around Dale's camper but Merle presumed it was about Amy again and poured some water into a barrel to wash up. Whatever the issue was, he'd hear about it from Daryl. Merle grabbed a bar of soap, stripped off his shirt and started lathering up his hands. He scrubbed his armpits and splashed the warm water over his chest and body to rinse off. All the water was warm from being in the hot summer sun and he enjoyed the sensation for a moment. Merle bent down to wash his face and then checked that Daryl was over with the other group before dropping his pants and shorts to get the rest of his body clean. He poured water over his head as he stood barefoot and naked on a patch of green grass. There was nothing worse than feeling sticky and sweaty and he was the kind of man who insisted on washing his entire body every day. More than once, someone in the group had caught an eyeful of his junk and he didn't give a fuck. Andrea had gawked at him when she walked in on his daily ritual and stared at him for the rest of the day like she was hungry for him and he took it as a nice ego stroke.

He finished up and grabbed a towel before stepping back into his boxers and then it happened, whatever issue was happening over at the camper made its way over to him.

“Merle!”

It was Daryl and he sounded uncharacteristically stressed.

“What's up?”

“Merle, you gotta stay calm, OK?” he rambled.

“About what?”

“Glenn, he brought someone back from Atlanta and-”

Merle stood up to see what Daryl was going on about in time to see his brother pushed out of the way by her...but it couldn't be her, could it?

Everything hit him at once and he couldn't move. All he could do was stand there and try to make sense of it.

“Merle?”

“You...”

His brain wasn't processing anything in that moment, nothing intelligent came to mind, just one flashback after another until he felt dizzy and then she was right there. Willow wound up and pushed his chest with both hands, hard, and he almost fell back on his ass.

“I tried to call you! I came by the house! I tried everything to get a hold of you!” she screamed.

She looked so good and he was so happy to see that she was alive, he couldn't even comprehend her words.

“You're alive!” he smiled and reached out his hands to her.

To his dismay, she smacked him across the cheek and the rage in her eyes brought him back to reality.

The group began to crowd around the scene and Merle wanted to tell them all to mind their own business but it was pointless now, privacy was a thing of the past. They'd just have to enjoy the show as his ex tore him a new one in his boxer shorts.

“I thought you were dead! For months I've been grieving!” she raged. “I needed you, Merle! I was all alone!”

“I was running for my life!” he shot back when it hit him that he should be defending himself.

“Not, in the beginning, you weren't. I know you were still home when I came to find you. I saw you through the damn window! I know you heard me banging on the door!"

“Are you forgetting that you left me?” he growled,

“And I came back! Do you really think I wanted to go? It killed me to leave, Merle! It killed me!”

“That's nice. It only takes the end of the world to make you give a shit about me!” he snapped.

“You know that's not true! How dare you? I tried for months while you were just giving up on us! I did everything I could to stay!”

“You still left! I never would have left you!”

“I never gave you a reason to! Did you ever think how much you were hurting me with the way you were acting? Did you ever think about how it was going to affect my sobriety at all?” she asked in a tone that was genuinely curious and less angry. “If I didn't leave I would have started drinking again.”

“Can't we talk about this without an audience?” he groaned.

“I came by your house for three days straight and I know you were there. On the fourth day, the window was busted and I checked the whole house to be sure you were really gone,” she started to crack then. “I lost my mind that day...and I've never been the same since...and all you care about is people watching us fight?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“You don't even know the hell I've been through without you so there's nothing you can say. I thought that after everything we went through, you would at least hear me out...but you wouldn't even answer the door.”

Merle dropped his head to his feet when Willow stormed away and had no idea what to say. He never in his life thought he'd see her again and now he was being held to account. It was true that she had left him, but he knew deep down that he'd given her no choice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a lot more time to write now with quarantine going on so I'll be posting on Tuesdays and Fridays now instead of just Fridays. Hope you are enjoying this story. Thanks for reading! xoxo

** **True Love & other Oddities** **

** **Chapter Three** **

> _**“I met a girl.”** _
> 
> _**“Oh yeah?”** _
> 
> _**“Yeah, and I think she's the one.”** _
> 
> _**“The one? Since when do you talk like that?”** _
> 
> _**“Since now.”** _
> 
> _**“When did you meet her?”** _
> 
> _**“A week ago.”** _
> 
> _**“What?”** _
> 
> _**“Daryl, I'm telling you, Willow is it for me. I want you to meet her.”** _
> 
> _**“Her name is Willow?”** _
> 
> _**“Yeah, isn't that the prettiest name you ever heard?”** _
> 
> _**“Jesus Christ, Merle. Did she cast a spell on you?”** _
> 
> _**“I think so, and she's crazy about me! Can you believe it?”** _
> 
> _**“Nope.”** _
> 
> _**“Shut up!”** _
> 
> _**“I'm kidding. I'm happy for you.”** _
> 
> _**“Thanks. I keep thinking I'm dreaming or something.”** _
> 
> _**“You're scaring the shit outta me, Merle.”** _

* * *

Everyone avoided him like the plague and he was more than fine with that. For some reason, Glenn was glaring at him but Merle wasn't about to inquire as to why. He didn't need another person to apologize to. Daryl stayed close but kept his mouth shut until Merle couldn't help but rant about it.

“I can't believe she lost it like that,” he began.

“She came to get you and you didn't answer the door? You never told me that.”

“She left me.”

“You know people sometimes leave and come back right? You weren't exactly making her life a picnic, Merle.”

“So this is all my fault?”

“I didn't say that...but I thought you loved her. How the hell could you ignore her for 3 days straight?”

“I was shit-faced drunk, that's how?” he frowned. “I thought I was fuckin' dreaming her voice to be honest.”

“Jesus Christ, Merle!”

“I do love her...but I was so bad for her it's not even funny.”

“Only cause you let it happen.”

“Fuck you. Do you like rubbing it in?” Merle growled.

“I'm trying to wake you up! You'll never fix this if you don't get your head out of your ass.”

“Fix it? Are you high? Did you see the way she screamed at me? It's done, Daryl. She hates me.”

“Do you really believe that woman could ever hate you?” Daryl exclaimed.

“I don't know anymore...I can't figure out why she ever loved me to begin with.”

“So you ain't even gonna try?”

“She needs a man like me like she needs a hole in the head, Daryl.”

“Maybe you should let her decide what she needs.”

Merle rolled his eyes, grabbed a gun and walked off into the woods. He didn't need people rubbing his nose in the wet spot on the rug like a bad puppy. He did screw it up, he wasn't too big to admit that, but some things were beyond repair and this thing with Willow was definitely one of them.

/

“Hi, I'm Carol, this is Andrea and Jacqui."

“Willow...I'm sorry for causing such a ruckus like that.”

“This world gets to us all sometimes,” Carol smiled, laying her hand on her shoulder.

“I just never thought I'd see his face again.”

Carol just nodded and offered the young woman some water and food.

“So you were alone in a clinic all this time?” Andrea asked.

“Yeah, I went there looking for medical care, hoping someone was still around who knew how to help me. I didn't find help but there was medicine and somehow the place was mostly ignored, so I just stayed there.”

“Are you OK now?” Jacqui inquired.

They were all so curious about her and also wanted to make sure she was going to be OK. She had obviously been on her own for months.

“Yeah, it was just a female problem...but I'm alright now.”

“I hope it's not too hard for you to stay with Merle here, it's better for people to stick together,” Carol smiled.

“I'll see what happens. I don't want to be alone again. I was just so stunned to see him that I lost it back there,” Willow shrugged.

“So, you two were married?” Andrea asked.

“Still are, just separated.”

"We had no idea he was married, he didn't tell anyone in the group."

"I can see why; it didn't end well. I know we probably seem like a bit of an odd couple with the age difference and all...but we do love each other very much."

"Still?" Jacqui pressed.

Willow showing up was the most interesting thing to happen in weeks and they couldn't help digging for information to uncover the mystery that was her and Merle Dixon being married.

"I kinda wanted to kill him back there, but I'll always love him. I know he can be a bit much sometimes but he can also be very romantic."

"Really?" Andrea grinned.

"Yeah...he used to make me French toast in bed and run me baths and this is probably TMI, but he was pretty amazing in the marital relations department," she added with a smirk.

"I could see that," Andrea nodded.

"What do you mean, you could see that?" Jacqui exclaimed.

"Well, the guy isn't exactly shy about stripping butt naked and washing his manly bits," she sighed.

"Yeah...that's Merle for ya," Willow chuckled, but she still had a faraway look in her eye.

Carol noted how sad and sleepy Willow appeared despite the friendly conversation, so she offered her a bed inside the camper to get some rest after eating.

“Thanks. It's hard to let yourself rest completely when there's nobody to stand guard. I feel like I've only been able to fall half-way asleep for months,” Willow sighed.

“We are all on guard now,” Carol smiled. “Amy is inside the camper as well but she doesn't seem to be contagious, nobody else has gotten sick since she did.”

“Thank you, Carol, Andrea, Jacqui. I'm so grateful to be here and I promise no more rowdy yelling matches with Merle.”

“It's alright, you aren't the first person around here to raise your voice at Merle Dixon,” she winked.

“Yeah, he's a handful when he wants to be,” Willow smiled.

/

Discussion began that evening around the fire about possibly changing location and Merle stayed back at his tent to avoid seeing Willow. Shane was worried that the fresh water supply was limited and that hunting might be more sustainable in a more heavily forested area.

“We need buildings as well,” he continued. “Staying out here is alright now but we're gonna need something more solid before winter.”

“There's a place not far from here with a freshwater spring,” Daryl said.

“What kind of place?”

“A camp for delinquents, it's been closed for years but the buildings were still standing last I looked about a year ago. It's remote and even had some fenced areas. It's by Lake Arrowhead.”

“How do you know about it?” Shane pressed.

“Got sent there as a kid. There's a bunch of cabins and the hunting and fishing would be great. If we can fortify the place it could be a good base.”

“Why didn't you mention this before?” Shane asked.

“I spend most of my day in the blazing sun hunting to feed ya'll, and people don't tend to ask my opinion, that's why,” he grumbled.

Daryl noted that Willow was trying to stifle a chuckle and he remembered how happy he was when Merle found her, how lucky he was too. Willow was stunningly beautiful and yet she only had eyes for Merle. From day one, she was head over heels and it still pissed Daryl off that his brother had screwed it up. Nobody would ever love Merle the way that Willow did.

“Alright,” Shane sighed. “Show me on the map in the morning where this place is exactly and we'll plan a route.”

The group agreed with the plan and Daryl made his way back to Merle.

“Hey.”

“Hey. She talkin' shit about me?” Merle asked.

“You still don't know her at all, do you?”

“I guess not, never thought she'd leave me in a million years.”

“She tried to fix it with you multiple times before that and you know it, but you wouldn't even talk to her,” Daryl argued.

“She broke my fucking heart, Daryl.”

“Maybe she did, but it was only after you broke hers.”

“I can't stay here,” Merle sighed.

“Just talk to her, Merle.”

“And say what?”

“Tell her you're sorry.”

“Just like that? You think she'd actually listen to me?”

“Merle, she's still got that necklace around her neck! Didn't you notice that?”

“She does?”

“Yeah...go talk to her.”

Merle groaned and got up. He began the slow walk across the camp like a condemned man to the gallows, he deserved whatever he got, but he dreaded it all the same.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter but I'm posting again on Friday.  
> Thanks for reading! xoxo

** True Love & other Oddities  **

** Chapter Four  **

> **_"Take me to bed.”_ **
> 
> **_“Are you sure?”_ **
> 
> **_“Yes.”_ **
> 
> **_“Cause if we do this I'm gonna fall for you all the way, and then I'll be a pain in the ass to get rid of.”_ **
> 
> **_“That's what I'm hoping for.”_ **
> 
> **_“What the hell do you see when you look at me?”_ **
> 
> **_“I see everything I need."_ **
> 
> **_“Do you know that half the men we pass on the street want you? Do you know how beautiful you are?”_ **
> 
> **_“I only care that you think I'm beautiful. That's all that matters to me.”_ **
> 
> **_“I just want you to be sure.”_ **
> 
> **_“I've never been more sure of anything...now take me to bed before I get impatient with you.”_ **
> 
> **_“Alright, Tiger, if you say so.”_ **
> 
> **_“I do say so. You listen to me like a good boy and we won't have any problems.”_ **

* * *

He knocked on the door of the camper and was met with an annoyed looking Shane asking what he wanted so late.

“I need to see Willow.”

“You gonna keep it down this time?”

“What's with cops being so fuckin' controlling? She's my wife for fuck sakes!”

Willow appeared at the door and assured Shane that they would keep it down. Merle walked toward the woods and Willow followed silently behind him. When they were a fair distance from the camp, he stopped and began to pace in a straight line back and forth, back and forth. She said nothing and just waited for him to speak, there was no point rushing him and she knew that.

“I want you to stay, it's safe with this group,” he began.

“OK.”

She would always do this, leave the dialogue wide open, knowing he hated silence and would eventually fill in the blanks.

“I should have answered the door. I'm really sorry I didn't.”

“That means a lot to me, Merle. Thank you. Things got bad after I left that last day...but I'm letting it all go and just looking ahead.”

“What do you mean? What happened?” he asked.

“Nothing...it doesn't matter now,” she insisted. “It just means a lot to me that you wish it had gone down differently.”

“I fell apart when you left and I was in bad shape by the time you came to see me. I was out of my mind drunk and I thought it was a dream. That's no excuse, but it's part of it.”

“I never wanted to leave, but I was inches from relapsing. I was so depressed. I just knew that if I ended up on the floor of detox shaking and praying for death again, it would be the end of me and I would lose you anyway.”

“I can't think of anything I did right with you, Willow.”

“When things were good, being with you was the best time of my life,” she said softly and he could hear her starting to break.

“It feels like all I did was hurt you.”

“That's not true...it just got too hard to hold on at the end, but believe me that leaving was the last thing I ever wanted.”

“You did the right thing. I just didn't want to admit that I was the one who made you leave. It was a lot easier to whine that you abandoned me...I don't blame you for going, Willow.”

Merle reached out then to touch the pendant on her chest and she simply stood still looking up into his eyes.

“Daryl said you still had this on and I couldn't believe it.”

“I'll never take it off, I told you that once,” she smiled. “Me having to leave doesn't mean I didn't love you. I'll always love you...those feelings never fade."

Merle sighed and let go of the pendant to start pacing again, wiping his eyes to hide his tears from her.

“I love you too, honey, always.”

Merle didn't want to ask but he had to, Willow had always made him lose control emotionally.

“Tell me straight...could I ever have you back?"

"That's what I want, but nobody could ever hurt me like you. It scares the hell out of me."

"I know. I had to ask though. Being around you just brings it all back, the good memories," he smiled. "We were something else, weren't we?"

"We were. Not everyone in this life gets to find their soulmate."

"Still think we're soulmates now?"

"Yes. In a perfect world where neither of us had been so abused, it would have been seamless and wonderful every day, but we were handed bad cards in life."

"I hate to think that my past fucked up my future, but you're right. Guess my asshole father stole my childhood and my happiness as an adult too."

"We don't have to let your past have the last word, Merle."

"You saying there's still a chance for us?"

“You'd have to stop drinking,” she said plainly, “and you have to learn to let go of the past, or staying sober will never stick. You need to let people in, you need to know that you deserve sobriety and love.”

“I never did feel like I deserved you, honey,” he nodded.

“I know, and that's why it fell apart. Maybe we should just take it slow and start as friends again.”

“I can do that,” he nodded.

She reached for him and he fell into her embrace like not one day had passed, except that this time he couldn't sweep her up into his arms and lay her on their bed to make love.

“I'm so glad you're OK,” she sighed. “I'm so glad I found you.”

“Never thought I'd see your beautiful face again...this world ain't worth a damn thing without you in it.”

He didn't want to let her go, but eventually, the hug was over and he insisted that she follow him back to his tent.

“I wanna show you something,” he said, taking her by the hand and pulling her along behind him.

“What is it?” she exclaimed as she tried to keep up.

“I know this is just one little thing...but I want you to see me do it.”

Merle pulled out the one bottle of whisky he had left and poured it on the dirt at his feet.

“Wow,” she smiled.

“If it takes you months to trust me again, so be it, but I'm gonna show you I can do this.”

“You know...you're the only man who could ever really get to me.” she said softly, "You don't know how much I'm praying this all works out."

“Damn, it's good to see that smile again.”

Merle walked her back to the camper and let out a long sigh of contentment. They weren't back together but she hadn't said no and she would have if that's what she meant. The thing about Willow is that this wasn't malicious, he wasn't being punished and he knew it. She just wanted to be sure that if they started their relationship up again, it had to work or it could mean the end of both of them.


	5. Chapter 5

_Bizarre Love Triangle - New Order_ <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5empiV6qw3I>

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter Five**

> “ _ **What do you wanna do today?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Marry you.”**_
> 
> “ _ **What?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Well, we're only a block from the courthouse so...”**_
> 
> “ _ **But-”**_
> 
> “ _ **...it's OK if you don't want to.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You mean you're serious?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Of course.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Willow, we've only been going out 3 months.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I know, but I've been sure since day one so what does that matter?”**_
> 
> “ _ **We don't have any witnesses.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Let's just ask someone on the street.”**_
> 
> “ _ **We aren't dressed for getting married.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I'd marry you in a potato sack, I don't care about that.”**_
> 
> “ _ **We don't have rings.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I just got my check, let's go buy the cheapest rings we find. Any more excuses?”**_
> 
> “ _ **But you'd really wanna be with just me forever?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Yes.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Really?”**_
> 
> “ _ **I love you today and I always will. Marry me.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Well, fuck...OK. I love you, Willow.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Then let's go!”**_

* * *

Merle thought about Willow and everything they'd been through together. She was one of only two people in the world to still care for him when he failed and he almost wished she'd stop walking into the fire. He did feel like he could give up drinking this time, but he was far from perfect aside from drinking. He wished he knew why she loved him so much, he could never figure out what she saw in him that others didn't. No teacher, friend or girlfriend had ever seen much in him, even his own parents could take or leave him 95% of the time. Daryl and Willow were the only people who ever felt that he was worth more, and neither of them could seem to be swayed. He thought of all the things Willow wanted, needed and deserved as he lay in his tent and decided he'd try to live up to all of it the best that he could. It was no time for games. The odds of her turning up were a million to one, maybe they were destined to be together like she always told him after all.

Morning was all hustle and bustle as people began packing up and making plans to hit the road. Merle sat with Shane, Lori, Daryl, Glenn, Jim and Dale to go over the maps and try to pick the best roads to get there. The camp was going to be perfect and Merle hoped like hell nobody had gotten to it yet.

The meeting was interrupted by Carol's husband Ed getting mouthy with Andrea and Shane intervened for what felt like the hundredth time.

“That guy is a real pain in the ass,” Merle grumbled, “and that's comin' from me! I know I ain't no picnic.”

“I wish he'd just fuck right off!” Daryl growled. “He's no good to anyone. I hate wasting a good kill on feeding that prick.”

Shane returned from sorting out the squabble and rolled his eyes. Everyone knew just what he was thinking because they felt the same way. Willow was off near the camper sorting clothes with Carol and Jacqui and he waited until she looked up to meet his eyes. He nodded to her and she smiled in return. She could still get to him the same way with just a hint of her attention. She was the only woman who could give him that rush of adrenaline through his whole body from just a glance. He still didn't know what the hell possessed him to get back into heavy drinking when he had her, but it was a pattern for him all throughout his life. If something in his life was going too well, it wasn't to be trusted, and he'd sabotage himself before he got too comfortable. He'd done it with jobs, friendships and finally with Willow.

The discussion about the trip finally came to a resolution and everyone got up to start the journey. There wasn't too much left to stay for and they had enough gas to get them to the camp as long as they didn't encounter any major obstacles. Merle took a truck with Daryl and Willow. T-Dog and his sister Jacqui took another truck with Jim and Andrea. Everyone else fit in Dale's camper and by noon, they were on the road. Amy was doing slightly better and could at least sit up, it looked like the pills were beginning to have some effect.

/

Merle drove and Willow sat on the other side of Daryl, it was still so crazy that she was there and he looked over at her longingly from time to time. Daryl pushed a cassette into the tape deck to help pass the time and grinned when he found that it was an 80s band. Merle was going to bitch about it, it was just a matter of time and Daryl grinned as he waited for it.

_**Every time I think of you** _

_**I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue** _

_**It's no problem of mine** _

_**But it's a problem I find** _

_**Living a life that I can't leave behind** _

_**But there's no sense in telling me** _

_**The wisdom of the fool won't set you free** _

_**But that's the way that it goes** _

_**And it's what nobody knows** _

_**Well every day my confusion grows** _

_**Every time I see you falling** _

_**I get down on my knees and pray** _

_**I'm waiting for that final moment** _

_**You say the words that I can't say** _

“What the hell is this shit?” Merle grumbled.

“It's New Order, you goof!” Willow laughed.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“Everyone knows who New Order is but you...did you ever play anything besides that old country stuff?” she teased.

“Nope,” Daryl answered for him.

“Shut up!” Merle chuckled.

“I did end up really liking Loretta Lynn if that means anything,” she added.

“It does,” he smiled.

Daryl knew they'd work it out but from what Merle had said they were taking it slow and that was a damn good idea. For as much as they loved each other, they could also be like fire and ice, always on different pages of the same book. It was a little tragic if he was being honest.

Daryl looked back at the camper behind them and thought about Carol and Sophia. He wanted to be the one watching out for them, but Ed was never going to leave them in peace. He wondered why people like his father and Ed stuck around when they were clearly miserable. Why did they have to spread the misery around? Why couldn't they just go off and be alone in their misery?

An hour into the 2-hour journey, they stopped to do a map check and stretch their legs and most of the group took turns going into the trees to relieve themselves. Ed said he was taking a walk and told everyone to go fuck themselves when they suggested that he shouldn't go out alone.

Daryl found himself hoping he wouldn't come back...and when Ed didn't return, he couldn't help thinking maybe he had wished what happened into existence.

“He's been gone twenty minutes,” Merle announced. “I'll go find him.”

“I'll go with you,” Shane said, pulling out his gun and Merle didn't feel like arguing.

Willow had said something about letting people in and letting go of anger so he decided to start with his anger at cops as much as it killed him to do it.

“Sure thing. He went this way,” Merle said without a hint of antagonism and Shane looked at him like he was losing it.

“Uh...OK, let's go.”

They walked into the trees and Merle mentioned all the signs he was picking up along the trail. He and Daryl were great trackers and Shane could stand to learn a thing or two about it.

“Why would he go this way?” Shane argued. “It's all dense over here.”

“Lookin' for a place to take a dump would be my guess and that's his boot print right there on top of that broken stick.”

“Oh. You are good at this aren't you?”

“Yep.”

They continued on for another five minutes until they heard a distinctive growling sound that made Merle think that Ed probably wasn't going to be a problem anymore. He'd seen the guy take out a walker and it was a sad sight indeed, he didn't have any natural fighting skill at all. All Ed was capable of was hitting a cowering woman and in Merle's mind, the world would be much better off without him.

Shane had his gun drawn as soon as they heard the growling and Merle had a kukri ready to swing at anything within range as they tiptoed closer to confirm their suspicions.

Sure enough, Ed was under a tree with his pants around his ankles and had three walkers on him.

“Jesus...what do we tell Carol?” Shane whispered.

“The truth,” Merle answered.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Let's go before we have to waste our time fighting these dead fuckers off.”

/

“Where is he?” Carol exclaimed when they returned and Shane insisted on taking her inside the camper to tell her as Jacqui and Willow kept Sophia busy outside.

Daryl heard the scream and the sobbing from inside and he didn't question it the way some other people would. He cried when his dad died too and he knew those confusing feelings ran deep. Sophia could feel the tension and appeared to know what was going on. Daryl didn't know what to say to her but as it turned out, Merle did.

“Mom?” she whimpered at the door of the camper.

“Hey," Merle said to her out of nowhere, "today is gonna be a really hard day, honey, but you and your mom are gonna be OK. I promise you that.”

She looked at him seriously and nodded her head once. Somehow it calmed her down and Daryl thought back to all the times he would have Merle keep him from losing it as a kid. Sometimes it was just a look or a word or two, but if Merle said it would be OK, he would believe it with no questions asked.

When Carol emerged from the camper, her face was red and blotchy; she appeared to be completely lost. She walked to Sophia and just held her on the side of the road for a long time. Hardly a word was spoken and gradually people got into their respective vehicles again to continue the journey.

“I guess Shane explained that there aren't any remains to collect and she really lost it,” Merle sighed.

“I wished for this,” Daryl said almost under his breath.

“You ain't got that kind of clout, brother. This ain't your fault...but she's gonna need someone like you to get through this.”

“You think?”

“Yeah.”

Willow sat next to Merle this time and lay her hand on Daryl's knee for a moment.

“She'd be very lucky to have you, and that little girl needs a real man for a father in this world...God knows I could have used one in the old world.”

“Thanks. I'll have to take it slow, but with him out of the picture, maybe I do have a shot.”

“She's probably feeling all alone right now and could use a good friend...and friendship has a way of leading to more,” Willow assured him.

“I'll give it my best shot...I mean I feel like shit cause she's so sad, but I wanted this too. I know I can be so much better for her and I needed him out of the picture. Just never thought it would happen like this.”

“Show her she can rely on you and she'll be yours forever. That's all most of us are really looking for,” she said softly and Daryl smiled back, he understood her completely.

Merle noted her words and speculated that maybe she was hinting at him as well. All she had ever really asked of him was to be reliable and it wasn't asking much. Merle was ready to be that guy and take whatever time it took to show her that. Ten minutes later when she rested her head on his shoulder, he knew he'd be smart to take the hint.


	6. Chapter 6

** **True Love & other Oddities** **

** **Chapter Six** **

> “ _ **Merle?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Mmmm...”**_
> 
> “ _ **Wake up, I want to ask you something.”**_
> 
> “ _ **What time is it?”**_
> 
> “ _ **3 am.”**_
> 
> “ _ **This can't wait till morning?”**_
> 
> “ _ **No, I just had the best dream that we had a baby.”**_
> 
> “ _ **A baby? Ain't I a little old for that?”**_
> 
> “ _ **No, it was a baby boy and he was so perfect. He looked just like you as a boy. I want to have a family with you, Merle."**_
> 
> “ _ **You're 29 and I'm pushing 50, this is already a pretty backward set up we got goin' on.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Oh...”**_
> 
> “ _ **I'm sorry, honey...I didn't mean to get you upset or anything. Do you really want to?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Yes...but not if you don't.”**_
> 
> “ _ **It's not that I don't want to...truth is I'd love to see you pregnant and have a baby with you, it's just...”**_
> 
> “ _ **Just what?”**_
> 
> “ _ **I don't think I'd be any good at it, my own dad was a monster. What do I know about raising kids?”**_
> 
> “ _ **You are not your father, you're a good man. You're the only man on Earth I want to have my babies.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You love me too much, Willow.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I can't love you any less than I do.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Maybe they have a pill for that.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Stop it, you're stuck with my love so get used to it.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Don't think I ever will, it's still a total mystery to me.”**_

* * *

Merle grinned as they came upon the camp, it was down a long and winding dirt road that most people wouldn't see if they didn't know it was there. Daryl stopped the truck to knock down the sign along the way. He didn't want anyone thinking of the place as they drove passed.

There were 5 cabins and a huge fenced area with a basketball court inside, Merle instantly thought of caging some sort of animal for food; maybe they could have some kind of raised vegetable plots as well. Merle hoped that Willow might agree to stay in the same cabin as him and Daryl but he was afraid to ask at that moment so he left it.

They all slowly emerged from their vehicles, not quite trusting what they were seeing, and Daryl immediately went for the spring.

“It's only a short walk but it's important. I'll be right back.”

“You sure you're OK alone?” Shane asked.

“Pfft!”

Daryl was more than OK alone but he decided to take Merle along anyway.

“I'll come too, I need to stretch my legs,” Willow offered and Merle didn't try to stop her.

Willow had a blade and walked along next to Merle taking swipes at the tall grass.

“Guess you're stuck with that, huh?” Merle said, pointing to the heart tattooed on her arm with his name in the middle.

“I wouldn't remove it if I could,” she answered. “I don't want to forget what we had.”

“It was good in the beginning,” he smiled.

“It was perfect,” she agreed, taking more forceful swipes at the grass and sighing to herself.

“Is it too hard to be around me?” he asked. “I want you to be with this group cause I know you'll be safe, but I can move along if you want me to.”

"I want to be here and I want to be around you," she stated simply. "Don't be so silly."

"Hey, it's what I do," he chuckled.

Merle was never distracted in the woods, he was a tracker, so what happened next left him absolutely stunned and ashamed.

“Fuck!” he growled as his foot tripped an animal trap and the end of his boot got sliced open along with the top of his foot.

“Merle!”

Daryl came running back and in the commotion, nobody noticed the rustle of a walker in the trees.

“How the hell did I miss that?” he moaned, trying to release his foot and twisting in agony.

“Stay still!” Daryl chastised, trying to find the release switch on the rusty old device. “Got your tetanus shot, right?”

“Fucked if I know,” he exclaimed. “Just get it off!”

Willow was knelt down next to him, rubbing his back like that time he got stitches in his forehead. Some asshole had grabbed her outside a club and he gave him a lickin' that left him flat on his back but not before taking a beer bottle to the head. She had rubbed his back for 20 minutes straight in the ER and he didn't feel a single stitch.

The walker that came through the trees was wearing a leather jacket with zippers on the cuffs, but nobody thought this detail was significant at the time, they just went into panic mode. Daryl got to his feet and pulled a knife from his belt.

“Daryl just go. Willow get outta here!” Merle hollered, grabbing his own blade although he couldn't even get to his feet.

Neither Daryl or Willow moved away from standing in front of him and they both proceeded to fight the walker off. Daryl slashed at its arm and it seemed to be provoked by that, snarling and gnashing its teeth, growling even louder.

“Willow!” Merle snapped. “Get outta here! Get the fuck away from it! Run!”

He was hysterical but she wouldn't listen to him and he tried to reach her to pull her away but it felt as though his toes were being ripped from his foot.

Everyone was still new at fighting these creatures and nobody had expected to encounter one so far from a city. They were hit totally off guard, wishing like hell they'd brought a gun. Willow finally sank her blade into the side of its head and as the walker went down it grabbed her and pulled her down on top of it.

“Jesus!” she shrieked and Daryl grabbed her like lightning, yanking her up to her feet as the walker eventually went limp.

“You OK?” Daryl inquired, moving his hands up and down her arms.

“Yeah, I'm fine I think. Let's just help Merle before we get surprised again,” she panted.

“Willow, your arm!” Merle exclaimed. “It scratched you!”

She looked down to see a little trickle of blood start to drip from her fingers and frowned at the sight.

“Shit,” she whispered.

Daryl released Merle's foot from the trap and he jumped to his feet with a growl of pain that he ignored and he instantly grabbed her arm to inspect it.

“Jesus! I told you to get out of here, Willow! Why don't you ever listen to me?”

“I wanted to help you!” she defended.

“Don't ever help me, Willow! I'm not worth it! You gonna finally get that through your head? All I was ever gonna do was hurt you and now my worthless ass has probably gotten you killed!”

“You don't know that,” she said.

“Look at your arm! Those things can kill you with a scratch! I told you to run!” he screamed.

“Did you really think I'd just leave you there?” she asked.

“Daryl was taking care of it,” he shot back. “Why did you do this, Willow?”

“Cause I love you!” she almost wept. “I can't lose you again!”

“But now I'm gonna lose you!”

“I might be OK, it might just be-”

“Guys-” Daryl interrupted, but nobody was listening to him.

“Willow,” Merle sighed, still holding her hand and looking down at the scratch. “Why couldn't you just listen to me this one time?”

“Guys,” Daryl repeated.

Willow turned to see what Daryl wanted and he was looking down at the walker.

“Lemme see your scratch for a second,” he said.

Willow knelt down next to Daryl and he wiped the little pool of blood away to take a closer look at it.

“I think it was this that did it,” he said, pointing to the zipper of the walker's jacket where there was some fresh blood. “See the way your scratch looks?”

The scratch did have a strange linear pattern with what looked like places where the teeth of the zipper had dug into her skin.

Merle grabbed her hand to pull her arm closer to see and then he looked at the zipper on the jacket.

“Jesus, Daryl! I think you're right. We still need to get her back and get it disinfected right away though,” he insisted.

The trip back should have been slower with Merle's injured foot but he maintained the same speed as always and Daryl winced at the blood Merle's boot was leaving here and there in the grass behind him as he walked.

Carol and Andrea washed up Willow's arm and Shane insisted that she be quarantined until they knew she wasn't infectious. Merle demanded to stay with her and Willow didn't argue with that. Merle had two broken toes and needed 5 stitches to put the top of his foot back together but he never stopped asking about her the whole time Daryl was stitching. It had been years since Daryl had closed one of his wounds, which were usually on his back thanks to their dad, and there was a sick kind of nostalgia to it. Most brothers would feel this kind of nostalgia from playing catch or riding bikes, but this is what they had.

Merle and Willow were left in the smallest cabin and Daryl stood outside the door as the sky began to grow dark on the first night. He lit a cigarette, blowing the smoke up into the sky as he focused on the full moon.

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Carol,” he smiled. “You doing alright?”

“I'm just tired and so much has happened...I don't even know what to say to Sophia.”

“Kids are resilient,” he assured her. “She will pull through.”

“She's just quiet...not really sad. It's hard to explain,” she sighed. “With Ed being how he was, we never had a normal family.”

“I've been there,” he said. “I know what it's like.”

“Yeah?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I've been right where she is at now and I promise she'll be OK. We'll all look out for her now.”

“Thanks so much,” she smiled. “So...how are they doing?”

Daryl looked at the door of the cabin where Merle and Willow were being sequestered and sighed to himself.

“I just hope he gets his shit together, cause Willow loves him so much it makes me really wonder about her,” he chuckled to himself.

“I could tell the first time I spoke to her that she loves him very much,” Carol agreed.

“He carries so much of the past around with him...all this self-hatred shit, like he needs to push people away when it's clear that they care about him.”

“He's scared of getting hurt I bet,” Carol noted.

“Yeah, and he never thought he deserved her...he still doesn't.”

Daryl recalled Merle screaming at her that he wasn't worth it just that afternoon and prayed that he could get it through his head once and for all that he was worth it and he did deserve Willow's love. If Merle didn't figure out how to burn the bridge to the past, he'd never have what he really wanted and needed out of life and Daryl knew that all Merle really wanted and needed was her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter today, some just end up shorter or longer, not idea why. lol  
> Posting again on Tuesday.  
> Be safe, stay home.  
> Much love, Teagan xoxo

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter Seven**

> “ _ **Hey, babe. When will you be home?”**_
> 
> “ _ **No idea.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You have work in the morning so don't be out too late.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Sure thing, mom.”**_
> 
> “ _ **What's wrong with you lately?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Nothing, I'll be home in a bit.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You keep saying that, but then I don't see you for ages.”**_
> 
> “ _ **What do you want from me, Willow?”**_
> 
> “ _ **I want you to come back to group therapy, I want you to stop pretending you aren't drinking again, I want my husband next to me in bed every night. The question is, what do you want?"**_
> 
> “ _ **I want you to stop freaking out over nothing. I don't need that therapy shit, it's for weak people.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Weak people like me?”**_
> 
> “ _ **I didn't say that.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I just miss you...I'm alone all the time now. I worry about you, and it makes me think about drinking. If I start drinking, I know it'll be the end of me, I'll never be able to stop again.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You're so dramatic, honey. I'm just hanging out with some friends. I'll be home soon.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I hope you really mean that this time...cause the last 6 times you didn't.”**_

* * *

“Do you feel OK?” he asked yet again, laying his hand on her forehead to check for fever.

“I feel fine,” she smiled. “How's your foot?”

“Fine.”

Merle sat next to the bed where she was laying and recalled the moment he first saw her. That AA meeting was the last place he would have gone, but when he saw her having a smoke out front, he just followed her in on pure instinct. He never intended to open up about his past, but when they asked him to speak, he realized he'd never told anyone and the idea sounded kind of freeing. He had already heard her speak about her life and being abused as a girl and even though he didn't know her, he wanted her to know she wasn't alone. She'd been molested and he'd been whipped till he bled, they carried different pain, but pain was pain. He only ever walked into that meeting to look a little longer at a beautiful woman, he wasn't planning to find his soul's match, but that's just what he found and he knew it from day one just like she did.

“Merle?”

“Yeah?”

“I do think this scratch is from that zipper too...but if it's not and I do get sick, I want to tell you some things while I still can.”

“Don't,” he begged, “I can't listen to that...”

“OK,” she nodded.

Merle knew he was being soft and instantly changed his mind.

“You're gonna be fine...but go ahead if you want to,” he said.

“I want you to know I'm not mad about anything in the past. Neither of us was perfect...we've both been so damaged by the world, how could we be? But I understand why it was always hard for you to let me get close. I know why you didn't believe you deserved to be happy, cause I didn't always believe it either.”

“You didn't?”

“I always felt dirty. Like if someone touched me it would rub off on them, but knowing that you'd been hurt too made me feel like you could take being with someone like me. We could both be dirty and damaged and it was OK as long as we were together. You made me feel safe and loved for the first time in my life.”

Merle held his head in his hands and cried silently.

“I'm sorry, baby,” she said. “I never want to make you sad, but I need you to know this just in case. I need you to know I'm not mad. I want you to be able to let someone in again if I don't make it.”

“Don't say that,” he said.

His voice sounded broken as he wiped his tears away and he hated looking weak, but Willow was the one person besides Daryl who'd seen it all before.

“Since the day you left it hasn't even crossed my mind to be with anyone else and it never will.”

“But-”

“I said I'd love you forever the day I married you and I fuckin' meant it," he shot back.

He thought about it for a moment and then he had to ask.

“Did you have someone else after me?”

“Merle Dixon!”

“I'll take that as a no.”

“You can take that and shove it you know where,” she hissed. “There's nobody else for me and you know it.”

“Me too,” he nodded. “Now, please, stop making me cry like a big baby.”

“Come here,” she whispered and patted the bed next to her.

He wanted to ask her what it meant now to lay next to her, but he was tired of words and he didn't really care what it meant, he just needed to be close to her.

Merle hobbled the half a step to the bed and crashed next to her like a fallen tree, groaning at the tugging sensation on the stitches in his foot.

“I'm a hurtin' unit, honey,” he moaned.

“Just rest...it's all gonna be OK now.”

“You always were an optimist,” he smiled to himself.

It felt just like before, like they were newlyweds and nothing had gone wrong yet. He wanted it all back and he realized finally that it didn't matter if he thought he was worth it, it just mattered that she did. It was a simple epiphany, but an epiphany nonetheless.

Willow rested her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her. He prayed for the first time in years to a God that he wasn't sure existed. He made promises to a potential God above that he'd never drink again, that he'd watch out for Daryl, that he'd never hurt Willow again, that he'd be a better man if she was just OK in the morning. He wanted to be the man she counted on like in the early days of their relationship. Merle could feel that she was carrying something around in her heart that she needed to unload about but she wouldn't let herself do it yet for some reason. She had hinted that something bad happened after she couldn't get in touch with him and while part of him didn't want to know, he had to find out. He couldn't leave her to carry it alone. He suspected that whatever it was would make him feel tremendous guilt but he still needed to know, like scratching an itch he knew would bleed.

“I hope you'll tell me what happened to you when you were alone,” he said softly.

“I want to, but it wouldn't change anything now. All it would do is cause you pain and I don't want that for you. I never would have even slipped that anything happened if I hadn't been so upset. I'm not trying to hold information over your head to torture you...it's just really not something we should talk about.”

“What if I can help though.”

“Do you still trust me like before?” she asked.

“I trust you with my life, Willow.”

“Then believe me that it would do neither of us any good to talk about it. Please, just hold me.”

"OK."

He believed that she was going to be OK then, but he still wanted to say it out loud.

“I love you, Willow.”

“I love you too.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! it would have been a crazy long chapter otherwise.   
> If you really want I can post the next chapter before Friday, I don't really like to leave things hanging like this either. Thanks for reading! Lemme know if you want Ch.9 before Friday.  
> Teagan xoxo  
> Stay safe, stay inside when you can.

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter Eight**

> _**Merle, I don't want this, but I'm not in a good place right now. My anxiety is through the roof and sitting around waiting for you to call or come home is making me crazy. I worry about you and I miss what we had...it feels like I can't get through to you anymore. Please call me when things calm down, but I have to go right now or I'm going to relapse, I can feel it coming and I know it would kill me this time.** _
> 
> _**I love you so much, don't ever doubt that. Willow xo** _

* * *

Daryl was up before the sun and headed over to the smallest cabin where Merle was staying with Willow. He hoped like hell that she was OK, he always liked her, but obviously it was for Merle's sake mostly. He'd never forget the pride in Merle's eyes the first time he was introduced to Willow. Merle was showing her off and seemed to want everyone in the place to be fully aware that she was with him. Daryl knew under all the bravado that his brother had a good heart, but it didn't always come across to women easily. Daryl was skeptical of Willow at first sight but she was true blue and he could tell within that first evening they spent together. She laughed at all Merle's jokes, never told him to take it down a notch, and kept her eyes on him all night long. She held Merle's hand, lay her head on his shoulder, and kissed him so much it was embarrassing. Daryl wanted that too, he wanted a woman who couldn't take her eyes off of him and kissed him in public until it was almost too much.

“Merle...hey, Merle.”

Merle lifted his head and squinted at the door where Daryl was stood.

“She OK?”

Merle rolled over and held his hand to her forehead and nudged her until she woke up.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

Willow grinned and looked at Merle like she'd won the lottery.

“I feel normal...so I'm OK, right?”

“I'd say so,” Merle answered and pulled her into his arms.

Daryl felt weird just standing there and said a quick, “Thank God for that. See you guys later,” before heading over to check on Carol and Sophia.

Carol was on the front porch of the cabin she was sharing with Jacqui, Andrea and Amy when he approached her.

“How is Amy doing?

“She's much better. No fever and her cough sounds better. What about Willow?"

“She's good too," he smiled, “and how about you?”

“I'm alright...but Sophia won't leave the cabin.”

“That's a shame,” he sighed. “Me and Merle would spend all our waking hours outside when we were her age. Wish the world wasn't like this now. There's so much fun out there she could be having.”

“I'm afraid to take her out,” she sighed, holding her arms around herself as if she were literally keeping herself held together.

Daryl wanted so badly to help in some way but didn't really know how, he decided to go with something simple as an offer.

“Me and Merle could take her and Carl out for a bit. She might come along if he comes too. We wouldn't let anything happen to her and we can't go far with Merle's foot injury anyway.”

He didn't really expect her to agree to it, not everyone in the group trusted Merle for some reason, but she did.

“I'll see what she says...if you're sure. I really don't want to see her get all closed off.”

Carol stepped back into the cabin and persuaded Sophia to come along with a little encouragement.

“It'll be fun! Carl will go along too.”

“OK...if Carl goes too,” Sophia answered softly.

The lake was a short walk and the kids could have fun there for a bit, he figured.

“I'll take Jacqui over to have a look at Willow's scratch while you're out,” Carol smiled.

“Thanks. She was all curled up with Merle when I checked on her,” he grinned.

“That's nice. It'll do him good to have her back.”

“It really will, and he better not screw it up this time,” he laughed.

Daryl agreed to come back for the kids after a bite to eat and introduced the idea to Merle.

“Good idea. We should get those kids prepared for the world a little,” Merle agreed. “They could learn some basic hunting and trapping.”

/

Lori was apprehensive about allowing Carl to go along but eventually gave in when Daryl whispered that it would really do Sophia some good. They set out walking slow because Merle's foot was throbbing more than he expected. He had been given some pain pills from Carol but with his toes taped up and the stitches it was slow going. Sophia seemed to take pity on him and walked behind with him as Daryl and Carl walked ahead.

“Your wife has a lot of tattoos,” she said out of nowhere.

“Yeah, she's got 'em all over,” Merle agreed.

"Should you be walking with your foot injured like that?" she asked and Merle was amused at her conversational style being all over the map.

“It's not that bad...I just can't walk very fast."

“Isn't it dangerous out here?” she asked.

“The world is dangerous, always has been, but we still gotta live, right?”

“I guess so.”

“You sad about your dad?”

“I didn't want him to die...I just wanted him to stop being mean to us.”

“I get it. I felt like that about my dad too.”

“Is he dead?”

“Yeah.”

Merle found that he preferred talking to kids in the sense that they got right to the point and didn't judge as much based on appearance. Sophia was a nice kid.

They arrived at the lake and Daryl and Merle kept watch as Carl and Sophia splashed in the water and attempted to catch minnows.

“You two need to learn how to track and stuff,” Daryl noted.

“You could teach us that?” Carl grinned.

“Yep. You should both learn to hunt and fish too. We all need to work now that you aren't in school, and it'll be fun.”

“Cool!” they both exclaimed.

The rest of the morning was spent in the hot sun showing the kids how to decipher animal tracks and identify animal droppings which Carl found cool and Sophia found disgusting. Merle showed them both how to set snares and make a basic fishing pole and for a while, it was like the world was at peace again. They encountered no walkers on the way there or back and Merle was grateful for just one nice outing.

He hobbled along and chatted with Carl as Sophia appeared to be starting up a conversation with Daryl. Merle hoped that Carol would see him as good dad material and that they'd end up together in time. He wanted Daryl to have someone and Carol was obviously the one he wanted.

They arrived back at the camp around lunchtime at a guess and both kids rambled to their mothers on the porch about all the cool things they learned and about playing in the lake. Merle patted both of their heads and headed back to where Willow was sitting on the porch of her cabin catching some fresh air.

“Shane let me off quarantine,” she chuckled.

“He's a bossy fucker, but I'm not at war with him anymore...I'm getting along with people,” he winked.

“Progress. Looks like you had a good time with the kiddos too.”

“Yeah, they're good kids and they learn fast. They can both set a snare already.”

“You would have been a great father,” she smiled, but it was a very sad looking smile.

“You OK?”

“Yeah, just makes me think of what could have been.”

“If you take me back, we could still have a field full of kids,” he winked.

For some reason, she didn't seem to take his joke with her usual good humour.

“I'm only kidding...you might not ever take me back.”

“It's not that,” she said, still looking dazed. “You should come sit down. Your foot must be killing you.”

“Yeah, it is pretty sore. I probably shouldn't have pushed it...you sure you're OK?”

“Uh huh...I'm going to just run over to the cabin with the kitchen and get us something to eat and drink, OK?”

“Sure. Thanks, honey.”

“You're welcome,” she smiled and pulled on her boots to go.

Merle couldn't understand her change in demeanour at the mention of kids, she always wanted kids when they were together.

Merle spotted her bag across the room and took a slow deep breath before deciding to search it. It was against all his better judgment to snoop, but he knew she was keeping something from him and he had to know what it was. Willow was holding onto something and with the depression she sometimes slipped into, he wanted to know what she was going through. It wasn't the kind of world where you could be complacent about protecting people you loved. Sometimes you'd have to push personal boundaries for the greater good...at least that's what he told himself as he started to dig through her possessions.

Willow still had pictures of him in a little plastic photo album and a key chain he gave her with a skull. He flipped through the album and smiled at the picture from their wedding at city hall and one she took of him sleeping on the couch. He turned the pages, still smiling to himself because it was clear that she never stopped caring about him, and then his eyes settled on a black and white image of an unborn child. He squinted at the tiny writing in the corner that stated her name and a date...

“Merle?”

“Shit!” he exclaimed and dropped the album.

“You shouldn't have looked at that,” she frowned.

“Tell me what happened, Willow.”

She set some bottles of water on the table and the plastic bag of food and he watched the way she moved, cautiously and slower than usual. Willow paced the floor like she could simply keep walking and avoid the conversation.

“I didn't want to tell you but there's no getting out of that now...why did you have to be so nosy?” she sighed.

“You were gonna have a baby?” he asked.

“Yes...that's one of the things I needed to talk to you about when I came to see you,” she shrugged.

“Jesus Christ! You mean you were pregnant with my baby and I didn't get off my stupid drunk ass to let you in?”

“It's done, Merle. There's no point in rehashing this...you said you're sorry and I forgive you.”

“What happened to the baby?” he asked.

“Merle, stop.”

“Willow.”

“I just lost it.”

“Don't lie to me, Willow? What happened to you?”

“Merle, I just lost it."

"You would have just said that, if that was the case."

"Merle, please just leave it!"

“Did you have an abortion? You know I wouldn't judge you if that's what happened.”

“No. I wanted that baby more than anything.”

“I have to know,” he pressed.

“Merle, this isn't going to help anything and we can't change it now. Please just leave it be.”

"You're not leaving this cabin till you tell me everything. I know you didn't just lose the baby, you would have just said so. Something else happened and I wanna know what it is."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going to post the last three chapters of this today, cause it's ready so why not?  
> Hope you enjoy it, thanks for reading.  
> BTW, I just don't make stories longer than they need to be usually. When the main plot is resolved, I end the story where it's at. It's just a personal preference. Some stories are very enjoyable to write but entending them beyond the main plot is never satisfying for me and the few times I have done it, I regretted it. Just in case anyone is wondering about my endings seeming to be abrupt at times:)  
> Love, Teagan xo

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter Nine**

  
  


> “ _ **Hey! Hey, answer me when I talk to you, bitch!”**_
> 
> “ _ **Just leave me alone, OK?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Fuck you! Grab her bag, Danny.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Don't touch me! I don't have anything worth taking!”**_
> 
> “ _ **Got it! Oh, you're kickin' now, bitch? You ain't the only one who can kick!”**_
> 
> “ _ **Jesus! Stop! Just take it! Please!”**_
> 
> _**...** _
> 
> “ _ **You OK?”**_
> 
> “ _ **No...”**_
> 
> “ _ **I need to get back to my kids...there's a clinic up the street. Maybe there's someone there but I don't know.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Can you help me get up?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Sure. Oh my God, you're bleeding! Are you...”**_
> 
> “ _ **Yeah...Jesus, this isn't good.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I need to get home...”**_
> 
> “ _ **It's OK. Go to your kids...I'll manage.”**_
> 
> “ _ **You sure?”**_
> 
> “ _ **No, but I don't have a choice.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Sorry...it's just...my kids are alone and I told them I'd be back right away.”**_
> 
> “ _ **I understand. Where's the clinic again?”**_
> 
> “ _ **Just down the street, an old brick place with a green door.”**_
> 
> “ _ **Thanks.”**_

* * *

“I left your place on the fourth day and I got jumped. I tried to kick them when they grabbed me and then they kicked me back...that's how it happened.”

“Jesus Christ, Willow! Why are you even talking to me?”

Merle had to sit down on the edge of the bed before he fell down, he felt unsteady and sick to his stomach from the news.

“It wasn't deliberate, Merle. You couldn't have known that would happen. You didn't even know I was pregnant.”

“It's my fault...this is all my fault. I should have been protecting you, but there I was being a fucking idiot as usual.”

“See why I didn't want to tell you?” she sighed. “It's over, Merle. We can't change it now. You have to let it go.”

“I killed my own child! How can I ever let that go?”

“No, you didn't. It just happened! Sometimes horrible things just happen.”

“Stop being so nice to me! Just stop it! I know how bad you wanted to have kids! It's all you ever talked about and I went and fucked that up like I fuck up everything."

"Merle, stop...just calm down!"

"I left my wife to get beaten in the streets and miscarry all alone! Who the fuck does that?”

“Merle, breathe! Just stop and think for a minute.”

“I need air.”

“Wait a second. Talk to me! I didn't want you to know...I'm not mad at you, Merle!”

“Why not? What's wrong with you? You should hate me, Willow!”

“I could never hate you! Just wait.”

“I need air...I'll be back in a minute. I can't breathe in here...”

“Merle, please-”

“I'll be back in a minute.”

/

Daryl was having a nice calm chat with Carol and watching Sophia play cards with Carl when Willow arrived with news of more Merle problems.

“He's gone,” she panted as she came to a stop before them. “He said he just needed air but I can't find him anywhere!”

“What's his problem now?” Daryl sighed. “I thought he was alright again.”

“It's a long story, but we have to go find him.”

“It's always a long story with Merle, isn't it?”

Daryl explained to Carol that he needed to take part in a manhunt and she offered to help.

“Nah, I'm sure we'll have him back in no time. He does this when he gets pissy.”

Daryl went along with Willow to grab some weapons and stopped to tell Shane where they were going.

“Shouldn't you just wait till he gets back?” Shane asked.

“No! We need to find him,” Willow argued. “He's really upset.”

Daryl assured him it would be fine, they'd be back by dark and Shane rolled his eyes but didn't fight them about it.

“So what upset him so much?” Daryl inquired as they headed out into the trees.

Daryl knew enough about his brother to know he'd follow the water so they began to walk the trail along the perimeter of the lake.

“I didn't want to tell him, this is all my fault,” she winced. “He just started losing it and wouldn't stop pestering me.”

“What is it?” Daryl pressed.

“I was pregnant, he found the ultrasound picture I kept, but I lost the baby.”

“What?”

“I couldn't get rid of that picture, it's all I have left.”

“What happened to the baby?”

“I got jumped after I left his place...I got kicked by a bunch of assholes who robbed me."

“Jesus Christ! That's gonna fuck him up good,” Daryl groaned.

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault. He should have answered the fucking door.”

“I don't want him to blame himself. It just happened. Why does he always have to run off like this?” she huffed.

“He's been pulling this shit since we were kids, he ain't about to change his spots now.”

“I wish so bad that he could just let the past go...I'm starting to think he never will. I had it hard as a kid too, but I refuse to let it take over the rest of my life.”

“I'm with you there...but Merle just can't put it down.”

Willow stopped for a moment on the path and Daryl could feel the desperation radiating off of her.

“I love him so much, Daryl...”

“You always have, haven't you?” he sighed. “I always wanted to ask you what it was about him...why is it so strong for you?”

She smiled then and looked down at her feet for a moment before speaking.

“That first night we met was just...I can't even explain it. He started speaking and I could tell how honest he was being, how hurt he was, and I just knew he'd understand me if I spoke to him. You know, he told me later that he only ever went into the meeting to look at me,” she grinned.

“Sounds like him.”

“But then I asked him out for coffee at the end and he almost turned me down. He didn't trust that I just liked him and wanted to get to know him better. He's always been like that with me as if I'm anything special.”

“Merle thinks you put all the stars in the sky, Willow. He'll probably never believe that you love him as much as you do.”

“I know, and that kills me cause there's nothing I can ever do to prove it to him.”

They stopped long enough to have a drink of water and for Daryl to locate Merle's tracks in the dirt next to the lake.

“What did he say in that meeting when you first met anyway?”

“He talked about your dad and how he wanted to protect you. He said that he failed you as a child and then failed you as a grown-up because he was drinking too much and he wanted to be there for you. He was very concerned about being a good brother. He said that if he couldn't get his life together, he'd never find love and die all alone...I could tell he'd never spoken to anyone about it before and I needed to talk to him.”

“If he knew all of this then, why is he still not letting it go? Why is he still fucking up like this?” Daryl vented.

“Knowing what your issues are doesn't mean you know how to solve them. He knows he needs to stop drinking, he's probably known that for years...he just doesn't know how to let it go and I'm gonna be here until he does.”

“I wish he knew how lucky he was to have you.”

“I just want to find him.”

“Shouldn't be too hard, looks like he wasn't worried about covering his trail. He's probably just on the other side of the lake,” Daryl assured her.

“It's a long walk,” she noted, peering across the water to the trees on the opposite shore.

“We can rest if you want to.”

“No, I'm good,” she nodded.

/

They continued for another hour until the trail ended and Daryl wasn't sure where to go next until he smelled a fire burning close by.

“We got him now.”

“How do you know?”

“He uses pine resin to start fires, been doing it since we were kids. I could pick up that scent a mile away...and he knows it. He wants to be found. My brother, the drama queen,” Daryl chuckled.

“He's gonna be the death of me,” she sighed, “but I just can't want anyone else.”

“Merle has a way of getting under a person's skin like that,” Daryl nodded. “Let me talk to him first when we find him.”

“Why?”

“I just have some things I need to say to him.”

Willow agreed and very soon they were almost within earshot of his fire.

“You OK for just a minute?” he asked. “Got your blade?”

“I'm fine, I'll stay alert. Go ahead and talk to him.”

Daryl approached the fire and finally caught sight of Merle poking at the embers with a stick. He was sat against a tree with his socks off and the injury on his foot looked angry and sore.

“You shouldn't be walkin' on that foot so much, stupid.”

“Hey, Daryl.”

“What are you doing out here, man?”

“Willow was gonna have my baby.”

“I know.”

“She's the one who told you to come find me?”

“You're putting that woman through hell, do you know that?”

“That's all I ever did.”

“You didn't fail me.”

“What?”

“When we were kids...you never failed me. I remember you taking more than a few beatings for me, in fact.”

“I'm your older brother, of course, I did.”

“Not everyone would have done that.”

“Maybe.”

“We were put into a situation that changed who we are and it's not our fault. You drank too much to drown out shitty memories and it's not your fault those memories are there.”

“You don't drink too much, so what's my excuse?”

“Dad was harder on you, and not everyone deals with this shit the same. I shut down and blocked people out for years and you take it out on yourself...we just cope differently.”

“I can't stop hurting her, and it's the last thing I want to do, Daryl.”

“All she wants to do is love you, she doesn't give a fuck about the past.”

“I care. She wanted babies so bad and I made her lose one.”

“Let it go.”

“But-”

“Merle, what if you die tomorrow? What if that scratch had killed her? Do you get how lucky you were to ever see her face again? Stop fucking this up! How dare you throw away this chance to have her back? How dare you?”

“Jesus Christ, Daryl! Calm down!”

“No! Willow loves you so much it makes me sick sometimes and she's not mad at you for anything that happened and all you're gonna do is throw it away! I'm not letting you do it!” Daryl growled.

“OK.”

“What?”

Merle nodded his head and looked up at his little brother. It felt like he was finally awake.

“If she'll give me another chance...I'll let it go.”

“Don't say that if you don't mean it.”

“I mean it. I keep thinking that beating myself up will make up for it but it's just making things worse...it's what I do now that matters, not what I did yesterday.”

“Finally!”

“Merle?”

Willow stepped out of the trees and Merle could tell that she'd heard every word.

“You got one more shot left in your heart for me, honey?”

“Always.”


	10. Chapter 10

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Chapter Ten**

> _**“** _ _**Where's your wife?”** _
> 
> _**“She left me.”** _
> 
> _**“So what are you gonna do now?”** _
> 
> _**“I don't know. Die? I don't really care.”** _
> 
> _**“She sure was a looker.”** _
> 
> _**“Yes, Axle, she was...can we talk about something else now?”** _
> 
> _**“Sorry, man. But why aren't you out looking for her?”** _
> 
> _**“She hates me and I don't blame her. She's better off without me.”** _
> 
> _**“In this world? She could probably use her husband around.”** _
> 
> _**“Fuck off.”** _
> 
> _**“You're an asshole since you started drinking again.”** _
> 
> _**“I know...why do you think she's gone?”** _

* * *

“If you don't stay off this foot and stop tearing the stitches, it's going to get infected,” Jacqui informed Merle after cleaning and bandaging his wounds once again.

“I promise, I won't get up till it's all better.”

“You better. Willow, keep your eyes on him,” she winked.

“He's grounded,” she assured her.

“Alright, I'll get out of your hair,” Jacqui nodded and gathered up her first aid kit. “Gonna go check on Amy again. Those meds you brought are doing the trick.”

“Thank God for that,” Willow smiled. “Looks like we're all gonna be OK now.”

“We're stronger together,” Jacqui nodded. “See you two later.”

“Thanks for fixing this up for me again, Jacqui. You're a doll."

“No problem,” she smiled.

Willow walked to the door and closed it behind Jacqui then paused for a moment as she gathered her thoughts.

“I know you're probably sick of hearing it, but I'm sorry,” he said.

Willow turned to look at him and knew that no matter what he did or how many times he screwed up, he was the only man who could make her heart stop dead in its tracks at just the sound of his voice.

“I'll never stop loving you as long as I live, you know that...but please stop doing this to me.”

“I will. I get it now, I really do.”

“Do you remember the first time we made love?”

“I remember every single time we made love.”

“You're the first man who ever touched me who didn't make me feel anxious or dirty.”

“You never told me that.”

“I don't like to bring up the abuse I went through if I can help it, but for years afterwards I couldn't let anyone touch me, until you came along. I was finally able to be close to someone and let go of my fear completely.”

“Why was it like that with me?” he asked.

“You just made me feel so safe. You heard my story before we even met so you knew what you were getting in to...you took it so slow and never pushed me. You're the only man I could ever be myself with.”

“I love you so much, Willow. It's all gonna be good now...I don't wanna waste another minute thinking about the past.”

She could feel a change in the wind then, maybe this time he was ready to look ahead. She walked over to the bed where he was laying and the adrenaline began to flood her system at just the thought of his hands on her body again.

“Make love to me,” she whispered.

/

Maybe he was bad for her, but she was all he wanted from the world. There was nothing like the way she loved him, the way she felt beneath him, the way he felt about himself with her.

Willow smiled down at him and leaned over to kiss him, slow and soft.

"I need you," she breathed. “God help me, I'll always need it just the way you do it.”

Merle couldn't think of the right thing to say, so for once he stayed quiet and just reached for her to pull her down into bed with him. She was never one to rush him with words or actions so she simply held him until he was ready to speak.

“I'm gonna love you right this time, Willow...I'm gonna be the man you deserve.”

“You can start by claiming me back as your wife,” she purred.

Merle sat up then and eased her onto his lap. There was nothing like the sweet sensation of her on his thighs, grinding slow and easy as he kissed her salty neck. Merle never made love to anyone before Willow and he knew the difference the moment it happened. He could recall clearly feeling overwhelmed when it was over, an instantaneous panic that he had to make sure it happened again. He needed to know that she was happy and that he could be with her on a permanent basis and he'd never been the type to get possessive after sex. With Willow, he felt the need to make her his own from the start.

She pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it over her shoulder to the floor, bowing her head down to kiss his chest and neck. The excitement was right there in his heart like the first time, adrenaline coursing through every blood vessel, lighting up every nerve pathway to each extremity, and then right back to his chest again. It was just as thrilling as the first time and he wanted her more than ever before. He hunched her up tighter against his body to take her ass in his hands and kiss her deep. Soon she was breathless as she ground herself on his lap and he rid her of her shirt uncovering a black lace bra beneath. Willow's pale white skin called to him and she reached behind her back to strip off her bra revealing those perfect breasts to his hungry eyes. He needed to hear her beating heart so he lay his face against her chest for a moment to thank God that he found her again and that the scratch hadn't taken her away from him. She seemed to know just what he was thinking and paused in the moment with him, holding his face to her chest and just breathing deep.

“I can't believe this is real,” he smiled.

“It's real...now lay me out and give me everything you have.”

Merle rolled her under him on the tiny bed and crawled over her to take his place between her legs. They kissed like teenagers for a long time, revelling in the joy of just being together again. Merle pulled her boots off and yanked her pants down her legs and moaned at how perfect she looked below him. Her black panties and pure white skin made him so hard it hurt and he ducked down to lay a series of kisses from her belly to her neck.

She started to breathe slow and deep and squirm below him and he could sense her need for him growing. He remembered then the kind of things he'd do that would take her right to the edge and decided to remind her of them too.

Merle knelt back as he unbuckled his belt, watching as her eyes became overcome with lust. She licked her lips as he dropped his jeans and kicked them off the end of the bed.

“Gonna tease me, baby?” she grinned.

“You do remember,” he smirked.

“How could I ever forget?”

Merle came down over her and thrust slow and sensual against her cool damp panties as she groaned out her distress.

“Damn...” she winced.

“Still need me, honey? Still need it the way I give it to you?”

“Only you, baby...my body is all yours.”

He kissed her deep, filling her mouth with his tongue as he pressed against her wet panties over and over with his angry hard cock.

He couldn't take it for long, so he stripped her panties off and continued to tease her beyond repair. Up and down her slippery slit, he moved the smooth head of his cock and she whined like he was torturing her for information.

“That's so evil...Merle...please.”

“You wanted it good and you're gonna get it, honey.”

Merle slipped into her by a half an inch then continued with the slow up and down stroking with his cock. He licked her nipples and sucked them each into his mouth the way she really liked and soon she was panting that she was going to cum.

“Already? My girl's lost all her stamina! We'll have to work on that won't we?”

“Baby, please...” she whispered.

“It's been forever, honey. I want you to cum twice if we can manage it.”

“Go down on me,” she whined.

Merle pulled her legs up onto his shoulders and licked once slowly up her lips and she shuddered at the way it felt. Merle slid two of his thick fingers inside her and nudged her clit with his tongue gently until she began to crack and he basked in the glow of her orgasm.

There were no words, only heavy breathing, whining and even a little growl. He loved the way she fell apart for him, he loved pleasing her.

“Come here,” she cried out, pulling him over her and inside her so fast he could tell she was dying for it.

“Jesus! Oh my God yes...that's what I needed!” she whimpered as he stretched her apart from every angle.

Merle lay his right hand on the headboard and grinned down at her as he took it home, nailing her over and over as she begged him not to stop. He could tell when she wanted to cum again cause she asked him to grab her by the knees.

Merle sat back a little and held her thighs apart with his big hands gripping the backs of her knees.

“Do it,” he pleaded and she proceeded to work her clit as he watched his dick disappearing into her over and over and over.

She was so wet and he eyed her slippery sweet labia and firm clit before him, needing to see her body clench around his manhood.

“Come on, honey...I can feel it...you're right there...”

She was teasing her left nipple, pinching it hard and stroking her clit with the fingers of her right hand and Merle had never seen anything in his life so hot. When she broke it was absolute heaven. Her body milked the cum from him with wave after wave of spasms and flutters of afterglow.

“Fuck! Oh fuck...oh Jesus Christ, Willow!” he growled as he fucked her.

Merle leaned over to take her mouth again as she came with him. They were breathlessly caught up in the whirlwind of ecstasy and madly in love.

/

“We could have a life here,” she said as she held his head to her chest in bed, running her fingers through his hair.

“It's all gonna be good now, honey. It's you and me...no more fuck ups.”

“I trust you, baby.”

“You always were a little crazy though,” he teased, pulling her closer on the bed. “Must have been to fall for me in the first place.”

“Maybe I am a little crazy, but I couldn't stop loving you if I wanted to...I even tried to when we lost touch, but the feeling will never go away.”

“So I'm like a curse?”

“Hush up, you,” she grinned. “I'm very happily cursed if that's the case. You're mine for life...and it's going to work this time.”

Merle felt hopeful then, there was still sadness in his heart about the news, but he was thinking about possible future children now. Maybe she'd be willing to trust him with starting a family if they could get settled in their new home.

/

“So, everything is OK with them?” Carol asked.

“Yeah,” Daryl nodded. “Nothing with Merle is ever easy, but he's my brother so what are ya gonna do?”

“Family is family. I'm glad they are back together. Love is even more important now.

“Pretty sure they're getting it on right now,” Daryl grinned, looking over at the cabin they were sharing. “I'm gonna stay out of there for a good while longer.”

“At least someone's getting some in this world,” she giggled.

Daryl looked over at her and couldn't help the way his stomach flip-flopped when he thought of getting it on with her. Her blue eyes and perfect mouth and the way her collar bones called for him to lay his mouth right on them...

“Daryl?”

“Yeah?”

“I asked you what you're thinking about,” she grinned.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yeah...and I know I probably shouldn't say this so soon after what happened with Ed, but I have feelings for you.”

Carol blinked slowly as if in complete disbelief as he waited for a response and finally he became impatient.

“Please say something...anything,” he begged.

“I have feelings for you too.”

Daryl grinned and looked down at his boots for a moment, he wasn't wasting time anymore, time was the most valuable commodity now.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Uh huh,” she nodded with a little nervous smile on her perfect lips.

Daryl lay his hands on her face and checked the area to make sure they were alone before kissing her softly once, allowing her to relax her lips against his before pulling back to see her expression. Carol's eyes were closed and she looked like she was off somewhere in a dream, so he kissed her again quickly to keep her there...dreams in the new world had to be held onto tightly.


	11. Chapter 11

**True Love & other Oddities**

**Epilogue**

> _**“Daryl, I can't come with you.”** _
> 
> _**“Merle, get your ass up!”** _
> 
> _**“I don't wanna live anymore! Leave me be!”** _
> 
> _**“You're shit-faced! Get the fuck up!”** _
> 
> _**“She's gone. I lost her forever and I ain't got nothin' to live for now.”** _
> 
> _**“What about me?”** _
> 
> _**“You're better off without me and you know it.”** _
> 
> _**“Merle, you get your ass up before I strangle you!”** _
> 
> _**“Daryl...I mean it. I can't go on without her. I wanna die.”** _
> 
> _**“I know, but you have to come along with me now cause I can't live without you. The city is gonna fall soon and we need to run...you never know, maybe we'll find her.”** _
> 
> _**“You're dreaming.”** _
> 
> _**“If we don't leave now you'll never see her again; if you come along maybe it's a one in a million shot. How much is she worth to you? Is Willow worth that one in a million shot or was it all just bullshit?”** _
> 
> _**“Daryl, don't.”** _
> 
> _**“You told me it was true love. Was it?”** _
> 
> _**“Yeah, it still is.”** _
> 
> _**“Then let's go. True love is one of those rare oddities in life that has a habit of working out.”** _
> 
> _**“Whatever you say, brother.”** _

* * *

“She won't go down unless you swaddle her up tight and she only uses that round rubber pacifier.”

“I got it.”

Rose was bellowing in Daryl's arms and he was so tired after a long day in the fields that she could probably feel his tension. This was going to be his first night alone with Carol since Rose was born eight weeks ago and he wanted everything to be perfect.

“Give her here,” Merle sighed and reached for the baby.

“You sure you'll be OK with her?” Daryl pressed.

“After Wyatt's 6 months of colic, nothing scares me,” Merle scoffed.

“Alright.”

Daryl handed over the baby to his brother only to find that she immediately calmed down in his arms.

“I got a way with the ladies, what can I say?” Merle shrugged.

“You're the baby whisperer, Willow told me Wyatt does the same thing to her. All whiny and cranky for her and then sleeping on your shoulder a minute later.”

“It's a gift,” Merle winked. “No go have fun with your woman. I'll bring her back in the morning.”

“Thanks, brother.”

“No problem.”

/

Daryl walked back to his cabin to see if Carol was still up for it. He was hoping to not rush her back into things but he was more than ready to get back to the fun stuff.

“Babe?” he called. “Dropped Rose off!”

“Was she OK?”

“With Merle? Of course. She loves that big dope already,” he laughed.

“Be nice. He's the best babysitter in the whole camp.”

“Truth.”

“I'm not that hungry but I cracked a bottle of wine,” she grinned.

“Nice. So how are you feeling?” he asked.

“Am I up for marital relations? Is that what you're asking me?”

“You mean sex?”

“Yes, Daryl I mean sex and yes I'm all good to go.”

“Cool.”

They were taking a few extra weeks for Carol to recover from Rose's birth since it was no picnic. Daryl was almost afraid to touch her for a long time but she told him she was ready.

Life over the past year and a half had been nonstop insanity with Merle and Willow becoming pregnant so quickly and working to stabilize the camp. It was all a blur of fortifying the camp and surrounding area, hunting, back-breaking labour, trips to gather medical supplies and gardening. Now they had a stable place to call home and the Dixon cousins could grow up together in peace, they all hoped so at least.

Now, with Sophia sleeping over at Carl's place and the baby with Uncle Merle and Aunt Willow, it was time to get reacquainted with his woman. Daryl sat at the opposite end of the couch from her and sipped the wild cherry wine Dale made months back. She looked so good and it had been so long.

“We finally made it,” he sighed. “Everyone is OK now.”

“True. Feels like we can actually breathe for a moment,” she smiled.

Daryl finished his wine quickly and crawled across the couch to her, laying a soft kiss on her lips.

“I missed you,” he said. “I wanna touch you so bad.”

“I'm not stopping you,” she answered, her eyebrows raised the way he liked.

Carol was a cheeky woman once you got to know her. A dry sense of humour and innate toughness flowed through everything she did and he admired her.

Daryl took her wineglass and set it on a table that Merle made them for a wedding gift and took her face in his hands to really get things moving.

“You're the only woman I'm ever gonna love as long as I live, Carol Dixon.”

“I better be, after surviving Rose's birth I want that chiselled in stone. You aren't going anywhere now,” she giggled.

“It's all you, honey. We fuckin' made it and now it's all smooth sailing. Merle and Willow are settled and our daughter is gonna have a real cousin to grow up with. We got it all,” he grinned.

“We do...now all I need is your dick,” she winked.

Daryl laughed himself silly and wrestled her down on the couch beneath him. He went straight for her neck and squirmed his way between her thighs.

“Need me, do ya?” he growled.

“Oh yeah...I need it bad.”

Daryl pulled her feet up onto his lower back and pulled her shirt up to get to her breasts. He couldn't wait to finally touch her breasts again since he had to stare at them all day when she was nursing. Merle warned him that he'd get a little drenched and he didn't believe it, but Willow jumped in to back it up.

“Wear a raincoat,” she had giggled.

“For real?”

“Merle's a weirdo so he's into it, but you may want to lay out a towel,” she grinned.

“You gonna get all...leaky on me?” he asked.

“I fed her good before you took her over, shouldn't be too bad.”

“Nice.”

Daryl tore off her shirt, bra and pants to get down to it and she was very quickly writhing beneath him.

“You're so good, baby...Mmmm!” she whined as he thrust against her panties.

Daryl moved his way down her body to tease her breasts and kiss her belly. Sure enough her breasts tasted sweet and leaked a little but it was no problem, he was a bit of a weirdo like Merle apparently. He wanted it to be all about her but she insisted on stripping him bare and sucking him off. She crawled over him and took him good and deep and he replayed the first time they'd had sex down by the lake. She had taken him by surprise with her oral skills and wild enthusiasm. For Carol, it had been forever since she'd had good sex and she needed him that night very much the way she needed him now.

“Damn, Carol...that's nice.”

“You deserve it, my man. You've been so good with taking Rose for me so I can rest...I love you so much for that.”

“Anytime, babe, you know that.”

He lay her out then and returned the favour with all the passion of the very first time. She couldn't take it long, as he trailed his tongue slowly up and down her perfect womanhood and teased her with is slippery fingertips. Daryl loved her more than ever and felt 100% contentment for all of his blessings.

She came apart in only minutes and then he was inside her. Slowly and gently they came together again with only peace around them and love in their hearts. He kissed her forehead and fucked her just right as she softly repeated his name into his neck. Carol was the woman he'd die for and together they had a gorgeous baby girl to spoil.

On top of everything he had personally, Merle was completely sober and showing Willow every day who the real Merle Dixon was. Daryl saw the sweet, loving couple that they were in the beginning again and he couldn't be happier for Merle. Wyatt was going to be a little blonde and curly bruiser just like his dad and all was just plain good.

By the time Daryl came it was dark and then they spent an hour just laying together and talking before he went over to grab Rose. She couldn't be left for very long when she was nursing and the truth was that they missed her already.

/

“She sleeping still,” Willow asked.

“Yep,” Merle smiled.

Willow had Wyatt sitting on her lap sucking on his fingers and Merle had Rose sleeping against his shoulder. The evening was quiet and they had not a worry in the world. Willow got up to answer the door when Daryl knocked and Merle chuckled to himself.

“It's been two months, he shouldn't be done with her already.”

Willow opened the door to let Daryl in but suggested they drop Rose off later when she woke up.

“Never wake a sleeping baby,” she grinned. “We paid dearly every time we woke up Wyatt.”

“If you guys are sure...I just wanted to have a look at her.

“She's fine cause she's with her uncle now,” Merle boasted. “I'll bring her over when she's hungry.”

“Thanks, brother.”

“No problem, man. Go cuddle up with your misses.”

“I think I'll do that. Goodnight, Willow.”

“Goodnight, Daryl.”

Willow came to sit back on the couch and just looked over at Merle, grinning from ear to ear.

“What you grinning about?”

“I just love you...as much as that first night I asked you to spend the night, as much as the day I married you and the day that I found you again.”

“You trying to get lucky,” he teased.

“Maybe.”

“I love you too, honey,” he said, shifting the baby to his other shoulder. “Best thing I ever did was follow you into that meeting, might not even be alive today if I hadn't...you gave me something to live for and just enough chances to get my shit straight.”

“You're the only man for me, you know that.”

“Yeah...I know. I'll never completely understand it, but I'm not fighting the universe anymore. Me and you are soulmates but that doesn't mean I get to be complacent.”

Merle wasn't about to get cocky about anything, he had what he always wanted but now he had to keep his family safe and maintain the trust every day. He was up for it though, the past was a far distant memory and all he cared about was watching his son grow into a man, being there for his brother, and never letting down the woman he loved again.

“I'm not worried,” she smiled. “This time it's all gonna work out...even damaged people like me and you get happily ever after eventually.”


End file.
